People always ask me, "Ron, why are you so afraid of robots?  What did a robot ever do to you?"  Well, I know what they can do.  Sure they look friendly and fun, but those mechanical men have nothing but ill intent in their hearts.  That’s why I present to you, my loyal readers, this offer from Old Glory Insurance.

Robots are a menace that must be stopped.  Perhaps you’re like me, young and healthy.  Think of your parents!  Think of your grandparents!  They can’t fight off the robot menace forever, and insurance can only replace so much.  That’s why Sam Waterston and I are fighting the mechanical menace, together!  While the insurance policy against robot attacks is useful, I’d rather have it and never use. 

I don’t even know why the scientists make them!