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    July 16, 2010
    Free iPhone 4 Bumpers For All!

    Well, Apple held its big press conference today, and it’s nothing you wouldn’t have expected if you’ve ever seen a corporate butt-covering session.  Among the factoids trotted out by Steve Jobs was the fact that they’ve only had about 15,000 complaints to AppleCare out of 3 million iPhone 4G purchasers and that the iPhone 4G only drops calls at a slightly higher rate than the iPhone 3GS (which was also notoriously bad about dropping calls).  Of course, that ignores just how many actual calls per 100 are dropped by the iPhone in general and how many complaining customers have called AT&T about their crappy phone, but whatever.  Spin is spin; you can’t expect Turtleneck to give you a straight answer.

    However, Apple does have a solution to the problem.  You take your beautiful iPhone and conceal its lovely design with an obnoxiously-colored rubber baby buggy bumper!  That’s right, the solution to the iPhone’s poor internal design is to ruin its lovely external design with a rubber and plastic cover-up.  That’s like taking a supermodel and making her wear a potato sack!  Sure it means she won’t get a sunburn, but you’re still ruining the best thing about her.

    If there’s one good thing about the bumper crop of Apple bumpers, it’s that they’re going to be free to iPhone 4 owners.  If you’ve already bought one of Apple’s $30 rubberized monstrosities, you’ll be reimbursed for your expense.  People who bought a cheaper third party accessory to allow them to use their phone like a normal person will NOT be getting a refund, because they didn’t pay the Apple Tax.

    Image: OSX Daily

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